VENDITO

Once again, greetings, blessings and good health to you and your loved ones as I return to your mailbox with more rambling🤗 To me, good health is my second greatest treasure after my two daughters and the few beloved family and friends I truly value.

Amongst the health issues I struggle with is chronic insomnia. This in turn gives me very psychedelic dreams whenever I manage to catch some winks. I have a dream-diary amongst a collection of diaries (Food-diary, Exercise Diary, Monthly Resolution Diary, Law of Attraction Diary, Dating Sites Experiences Diary, Health Diary, and General Shenanigans Diary). But my Dreams Diary is one of my most fascinating ones and sometimes, when I read my entries, I wonder at the state of my sanity. However, many of those dreams have helped me with my writing and I guess I am grateful for them.

Last night's dream was different though. For one thing, I didn't recall much of it when I woke up. Secondly, I woke up literally mumbling the single word I was screeching at a strange guy in my dream, a middle-aged white guy whose only crime was to ask me the direction to a place I couldn't recall.

“Vendito! Vendito!” I kept shouting this single word at the guy till somehow, I stumbled into wakefulness still mumbling ‘Vendito’. WTF😳 It doesn't even sound English or Igbo, the two languages I speak.

Without further ado, I picked up my mobile phone and immediately Googled the word. I can't say I was too surprised when the word came up on my screen. I've been known to dream names, full first names complete with surnames, which I then Google and discover they're dead people's names. My dreams are visited by the departed most nights; so this time, I somehow thought ‘Vendito’ might be the surname to another dead dream-guest.

Imagine my joy when I read the meaning: Vendito is a Latin verb that translates

1. To sell

2. To hawk

3. To promote

4. To advertise

5. To palm off

6. To offer for sale

7. To clamour

8. To pay court to

Vendito is also a Texas-based marketing company! Well, well! What have we here, Nuzo?

I quickly updated my Dream Diary and spent the next one hour in meditation, followed by dream-meaning web searches. There was nothing about shouting at a stranger to sell or promote something. As one of the meanings indicated, I was literally ‘clamouring’ at the poor middle-aged white guy to sell or market something. But what?

I was at my grandfather's shrine a couple hours later, when sudden illumination hit me. As always, I was praying to him to make my upcoming book a runaway success with a minimum sales of 50,000 copies. His candles were lit and the incense burning sweetly. I bowed my head in respect and began to chant my usual daily mantra: “Papa Gabriel Okwor, good morning sir! It's your granddaughter Nuzo, named after your mother, Nuzo, bowing low before you in greeting and asking your forgiveness for constantly disturbing your sleep and bothering you with my incessant whinging. But please, Papa, make my book, ‘Where the Dead Brides Gather’ a roaring success with a minimum sale of…”

I never finished the chant because I heard my grandfather's voice clear and loud in my head.

“This silly child! Why do you think I sent you the message in your dream?” His voice was humorous and indulgent. “We have instructed the white man to promote, sell, market, and even buy your book himself and he will do it for us.”

I frowned. Huh? What's Papa Gabriel Okwor talking about? Who’s this white guy? Why a white guy anyway? How can one white guy marketing my book sell the 50,000 minimum copies I've requested? And why did I speak to him in Latin, a language I’ve never spoken?

My grandfather heard my thoughts and laughed at me. I was not used to hearing my grandfather laugh when speaking to me and I felt an instant warm shiver of joy at the sound.

“That white man is at the helm of the major companies that will sell and promote your book. The man we spoke to in your dream represents the legion, not just one. We spoke to them in their original spiritual tongue that will touch their souls and bring you their goodwill. And don't insult me with 50,000 again. I'll decide the figure and it won't be something that paltry. Go now and let your heart be still.”

I left my grandfather's shrine for the gym, still confused and nonplussed. I was a treadmill-warrior and burnt 800 calories as I reflected on his words and my strange dream. After all, my book is about strange dreams and ghosts amongst other supernatural happenings. I’ve no idea why my grandfather decided to send me this white middle-aged guy in my dream instead of a powerful black guy or even a medicine-man with some fearsome Juju. Still, who am I to question the will of the ancestors?

But whether or not the mysterious middle-aged white guys work the miracle or not, one thing I've decided is that I'll definitely be contacting the Texas Vendito marketing company I found on Google to inquire about their promotion services. After all, the ancestors help those who help themselves.

So guys, if we meet up and you hear me greeting you with the weird word, “Vendito”, especially if you're a middle-aged white chap, just be kind and buy and promote my book, please. I'll even pay court to you with effusive flattery as Vendito states, if it'll make you order your copy😅 The rest of you, be generous too, even if you don’t receive that special Vendito greeting from me.

A reminder that ‘Where the Dead Brides Gather’ is released on 22nd October 2024 by Titan Books and now available for PREORDERS in every good retail outlet in the UK, Nigeria, USA, Canada, E.U, South Africa etc.

That's it, folks, as I prepare for another restless night and more creepy dreams. I'll keep you all informed of my whacky dreams and wondrous interactions with my ancestors. Until next time, be safe and well; and may the universe surround you all with kind people🙏🏽